How much should Denver fans realistically expect from this man and his football team? Thankfully, McDaniels usually looks more decisive and confident than he does in this picture. Photo Credit: everyjoe.com

September 12, 1:46 PM:

I’m currently stretching in anticipation of the Broncos season opener tomorrow. I pulled my back out this morning, and I now have less than twenty-four hours to make sure my back and arms are limber enough to hoist large objects and lob them at my TV. I’m not necessarily planning to throw anything at my TV, but I must be ready at a moment’s notice to hurl inanimate objects because things could get ugly rather quickly tomorrow.

Yes, I’m a very worried man. I’m worried that I just pulled my back out and I’m only 23 years old. I’m worried that I might break a pricey plasma screen before noon tomorrow. I’m worried that Josh McDaniels might ultimately regret leaving Papa Belichick and Brother Brady, the comforts of Gillette Stadium, and blazing his own trail westward through this sick and twisted world; we all die alone, Josh…we all die alone! And I suppose I’m now worried that I just referenced death a mere 150 words into this column. I haven’t even discussed the Broncos’ playoff chances yet. Things indeed look quite grim at the moment.

September12, 2:33 PM:

You tell me that he doesn't at least make you slightly nervous. Remember, he has a lot of nukes to back up that terrifying gaze...Credit: Time Magazine

Nevertheless, perhaps I should re-evaluate my fears? I’ll always dread heights, flying on small airplanes, sharks, and Vladimir Putin, but enough is enough. I can rationally explain why I remain weary of each entity I just listed (Note: Putin was in the KGB, knows judo, is a despot, and his cold stare haunts my dreams). Yet, upon further reflection, I cannot fully explain why I’m so afraid of watching the 2009 Broncos. I can speculate that the defensive line is porous and raw, the offense is overrated and anemic, and that Kyle Orton’s odious pre-season play will carry over into the regular season. But I cannot confirm any of these suspicions. The truth is no one can, and not just because the Broncos have yet to play a down. Simply put, we do not know enough about the Denver Broncos to declare them a horrendous football team.

The Broncos are a mystery wrapped in an enigma shrouded by vagueness. They are far and away the most puzzling team in the NFL. Every facet of this team is new. The lineup is one enormous question mark. Though it is easy and tempting to hastily write off question marks as flaws, I caution you to avoid doing so. If an NFL team is heading towards a disappointing season, one can usually isolate and identify said team’s specific problems. For instance, this year you could say, “Jamal Lewis is old, used up, and bad,” or “Norv Turner and Wade Phillips are spineless dweebs, who will each serve as President before they can so much as spell ‘playoff win’,” or “Matt Millen spent eight years ‘building’ that franchise.” Trying to identify the Broncos’ specific problems is a futile exercise because we currently know so little about the components of Our Town’s football team.

Does Mr. Putin frighten you now?? Credit: huntersmark.com

September 12, 3:27 PM:

The offseason was turbulent. The regime change at Dove Valley has been tough to swallow, and the Broncos struggled mightily during the pre-season. But pre-season football is meaningless; the Lions went undefeated during the 2008 pre-season. I expect the Broncos to prove that they are a better football team than most expect, especially on defense. Mike Nolan is a brilliant defensive mind; he worked wonders for the Baltimore Ravens as a defensive coordinator between 2001 and 2004.

The Broncos defense possesses an attractive mix of aging wisdom and young, raw talent. Alphonso Smith and Darcel McBath will learn how to play NFL football from Champ Bailey and Brian Dawkins. Could you ask for better teachers? Bailey and Dawkins are not only top-ten players of all-time at their respective positions, but they are also consummate professionals. Josh McDaniels almost certainly considered this when he traded next year’s first-round pick for Smith. (Note: I watched Smith and McBath at training camp. McBath possesses nice size and is a ballhawk, who will likely take some time to adjust to the speed of the NFL. Smith is a legitimate talent. He might not be as great a punt returner as the Broncos expect him to be, but his footwork is fancy and he is freakishly athletic. Smith does not jump. He bounces.)

Alphonso Smith was great at Wake. Now the Broncos need him to step up his game in the wake of this coaching change.

I’m also excited about the Broncos linebackers. Elvis Dumervil will excel in his new position as an end-backer hybrid; he also plays at 200% on every down, which I love. Andra Davis, a savvy veteran, plays hungry football. Remember that Davis recorded twenty tackles in a single game several seasons ago. He is a bargain for the Broncos’ cap and brings an intensity and positive attitude that this team desperately needs. At 30, Davis is playing for financial security, so he will listen to his coaches, execute the game plan, and never take a play off. Additionally, look for Mario Haggan to flourish in blitz packages. Haggan is enormous (a taller version of London Fletcher) and looked great in training camp. The team recently named him a defensive captain for the upcoming season. Super Mario might be my new favorite Bronco.

The defensive line is the Broncos’ most looming question mark not named “Kyle Orton.” Many analysts argue that the Broncos lack necessary star-power up front, and therefore will not mount an effective pass-rush and will struggle to contain the run. Yes, the Broncos do lack proven talent along the front-three. However, who says a star will not emerge from this group? Ron Fields was an All-SEC tackle at Mississippi State and Chris Baker might have been a top-50 draft pick had he not been kicked out Penn State for assaulting two of his classmates. At least we know that Baker will play with some emotion; the last thing the Broncos need is another Jarvis Moss.

Mike Nolan dresses for success...and is a much better defensive coordinator than head coach. I feel quite comfortable with Nolan directing the Denver defense. You should, too. Credit: sportscrackelpop.com

I anticipate that Nolan will rely on his linebackers and hybrid end-backers to rack up sacks, not his front-three defensive linemen. The defensive line will perform inglorious, grunt work while Dumervil, DJ Williams, and Super Mario assault opposing quarterbacks. So, who cares if the Broncos’ front-three lacks star power? All that matters is that the front-three are big, strong, and do not take plays off. Fields and Baker, like so many faces on this defensive unit, are playing for their reputations and future contracts. The defensive line will make mistakes, but I predict the line will always play with enthusiasm and learn quickly from each mental lapse. I mean, these guys have no choice but to perform each Sunday or else they will hit the waiver wire the following week.

The mix of journeymen and prospects on defense, specifically along the defensive line, is indeed a major question mark for the Broncos. But do not write off the unit just yet. The defense will benefit from its lack of proven pro-bowlers. Uncertainty could inspire players to work harder and rise to the moment, leading to increased productivity. For the record, I have much less faith in Kyle Orton’s arm than the Broncos’ revamped and unproven defense. Ok, I’m going to say it: Nolan will have a top-fifteen defense by season’s end.

September 12, 4:19 PM:

Change is often an uncomfortable exercise. As humans (and Broncos fans), we crave and strive for change while simultaneously rejecting its nerve-racking effects. But we can’t have our cake (or coach) and eat it, too. In the words of former British Prime Minister Harold Wilson, “He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.” The Broncos had to make a change. They may not be Super Bowl contenders yet, but the organization had slowly decayed for the better part of a decade under the direction of Mike Shanahan. At this point in time, fans obviously cannot confirm that the organization has significantly improved. In the same breath, it is fruitless to convince yourself that the Broncos have regressed since last season.

We don't have to forget what Shanahan accomplished. The late 90s were the best of times. Too bad last year was the worst of times. Fare thee well, Shanny.

It is quite simple. The organization needed a new head coach. Pat Bowlen fired the coach that needed to be let go and hired a new coach. A smart, affordable, and unproven coach at that. Only time can solve the mystery of the 2009 Denver Broncos, so let’s just wait and see how this entire situation plays out. It is acceptable to be upset with and worried about the franchise, but what are you going to do? Not root for the home team? Not watch the games?

If you are particularly livid, perhaps you should hold off on purchasing tickets and traveling to Invesco Field; never invest in a faulty product, such as Kyle Orton. Yet, you should also consider that you and only you lose by fully boycotting the Broncos this season. You’re effectively punishing yourself for decisions that you had no hand in making. Sit back, relax, and at least be thankful that the Broncos have adopted a proactive mentality. The organization boldly displayed that it is willing to risk it all in an effort to avoid mediocrity. As a fan, what more could you ask for? We need to give this team a chance to prove itself before we take the easy way out by turning our backs on the franchise.

Uncertainty defines the 2009 Broncos. The team will live and die by its numerous question marks. But these question marks also reinforce the team’s overall potential, starting with Coach McDaniels. Be rational and keep in mind that the Broncos organization was headed towards the cemetery last January. These offseason moves have temporarily resurrected a dying franchise. Additional moves might be necessary, but allow the present to unfold before abandoning the future.

And how about now?

September 13, 2:15 PM:

Ok, I planned to write a running commentary of today’s game. Unfortunately, I found it too difficult to constantly muster up words to describe the events unfolding in Cincinnati. Referring to the game as “awful” does not say nearly enough about the overall level of play I just witnessed. Boring? Yes, the game was boring, but boring events seldom leave one incensed and shocked. Frustrating? This game was not just frustrating to watch, it was wearisome to tolerate. I’ve never suffered through three hours of football like I did this afternoon. Watching the Broncos offense was like eating mud. The activity did not kill me, but my health did not benefit from the experience and it was hard to keep myself from vomiting. So here are my thoughts on “The Game That Shall Not Be Named”…

Fouts was voted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in '93. He will never be voted into the American Broadcasting Hall of Fame because he sucks at broadcasting. Dan, please step down at CBS and stick to your real passions: throwing footballs, golf, and beard growing.

- Dan Fouts is the worst commentator on television…in any sport. Period. His jokes about what NFL players did and looked like during the 60s and 70s were so thoughtless, pitiful, and numerous that I considered muting my TV. I only kept the volume on because Gus Johnson is a golden god.

- Where was Brandon Marshall during that entire game? Hold on, let me rephrase that. Who pressed a scalding iron to Brandon Marshall’s hands on Saturday night thus rendering his fingers and palms useless for today’s game? I know Marshall missed training camp, but he looked totally “checked out” against the Bengals. I’ve never seen such a powerful man expend less energy and roll over as easily as the 6’5″ 250-pound Marshall did in his first game back from suspension. One more performance like today’s dud and it might be fair to claim that Marshall has indeed packed it in for the season.

Maybe Marshall needs a little more time to study the playbook. Yet, you’d think that he spent the bulk of his time away from the team learning the new offense so that he could earn himself a new, lucrative contract? Of course, that assumption is far too rational, considering I am writing about Brandon Marshall.

Marshall might as well have dropped his pants and pooped in the endzone at Paul Brown Stadium, and then followed that up by urinating on the Broncos’ bench. His performance today was that offensive. Furthermore, public defecation would have been more productive and required greater attention to detail than any route he ran or catch he “tried” to make.

- Kyle Orton was brutal. Broken pinky aside, Orton looked indecisive, weak, and confused all day. I understand why McDaniels acquired Orton to replace Cutler. Orton is smart, tall, and allegedly possesses untapped potential. Yet, I worry that Orton is hopelessly average. He therefore remains a poor investment for a franchise that claims to be so devoted to avoiding mediocrity.

After watching Sunday's game, the Coen brothers decided to re-make their 2001 film "The Man Who Wasn't There." The re-make is a silent film called "The Men Who Were Not There. " It stars Marshall and Orton in place of Billy Bob and James Gandolfini, and the plot chronicles the "electrifying" game that occurred in Cincy on Sept 13, 2009. When asked why it is a silent film, Joel Coen replied, "The deafening silence adds to the film's authenticity; the lack of speech makes you feel as though you were actually on the sidelines at Paul Brown Stadium...or watching it on TV in Denver."

Orton lacks the competitive drive that defines all successful NFL players. Think about it. He had the opportunity for four seasons to run away with the keys to the Chicago Bears offense. He never did. His competition was Rex Grossman and (our favorite) Brian Griese. Each time Orton won the starting job he managed to hand it back over to his lowly competition. He does not have “it.”

As far as weak-armed quarterbacks go, I’d much rather have Chad Pennington on my team than Kyle Orton. At least Pennington took losing the starting job in New York personally. He clearly used the Jets’ lack of faith in him as motivation to succeed once he landed in Miami. Maybe Orton is just reserved, but he did not look like a confident player or a leader out there today. This does not bode well for the Broncos’ offense. My mouth still tastes like mud…

- Rey Maualuga has already arrived. He should not have dropped to the second round of the draft. Maualuga and Keith Rivers make the Cincy defense one of the more underrated units in the NFL. I bet Knowshon agrees with me.

- Denver, please remain patient with Knowshon Moreno. He did not look good in his first regular season appearance, but he will move the chains by week ten.

- My faith in the Broncos’ defense remains firm. While the Bengals offense did not perform at an elite level, an NFL defense always deserves credit for holding an opposing offense to one touchdown and 86 rushing yards. Super Mario recorded a sack (num, num, num, num, num!), Champ’s legs looked healthy and fresh as he held Ochocinco in check, and the front-seven constantly harassed Carson Palmer and kept him from ever finding his rhythm.

- I’m a huge Josh McDaniels fan. Say what you will about his stubbornness or his offseason decisions, but this man is an intense competitor. He has a presence and belongs in the NFL. Coaching is his craft and he holds himself accountable for the performance of his players. Watching him berate Orton for taking a sack that pushed the Broncos out of field goal range and forced a punt late in the fourth quarter was the most exciting moment of the game…until the luckiest play in Denver sports history occurred.

McDaniels is also smart, meticulous, and persistent. He rebuked the officials when the game clock was incorrectly set to 20 seconds following the Bengals fourth-quarter touchdown. Moments later the game clock was re-set to 38 seconds, which paved the way for the luckiest play in Denver sports history. McDaniels hates mediocrity, and I bet he is also a sore loser. These are qualities you want to see in an NFL head coach. Plus, I think he and I are technically part of the same generation, which is exciting.

- I’m not a fan of CSI, CSI: Miami, or CSI: New York. The proliferation of primetime crime dramas has officially gotten out of control. If the government can control the H1N1 virus, then they can certainly solve the current crime drama pandemic. This is a real problem that affects all of us.

Sorry, Marvin. I too thought you had this one in the bag. Don't worry, things'll turn around...wait, they probably won't. At least you tried, right?

- I feel sorry for Marvin Lewis. He is not a great head coach and he is not going to win many games this season. He won today’s game, but then he didn’t win today’s game. Bummer, man.

- 1-0 has never felt less good. Recall that Ed Hochuli advanced the Broncos to 2-0 last season. That said, the defense looked solid, and this team could make some noise if Marshall and Orton never ever again play like they did today.

I’m excited for Hood Jr. vs. Hood Jr. when the Broncos play the Browns next weekend. I think the Broncos will build off of today’s improbable victory. Furthermore, there is no way next Sunday’s match-up will play out as unpleasantly as “The Game That Shall Not Be Named.”

Watch it one more time. I’m still completely speechless. I started laughing hysterically when it happened. First of all, thank you, Gus Johnson. Your passionate commentating on this play made the game interesting for the first time since kickoff. Dan Fouts, why did you have to ruin this moment? Please do not answer me out-loud, just think about it. Second, pay attention to McDaniels after Brandon Stokley scores. His intensity is awesome. He doesn’t even celebrate. Rather, McDaniels immediately screams at Orton to go for two. I swear the man is never satisfied, and that is a great thing. Finally, Kyle, I’m sorry, but you actually did nothing right on that play.

September 13, 11:45 PM:

I leave you with a parting treat…trust me, you’ll enjoy it. I will now go to sleep a happy Broncos fan.

Who is ready for some Giamba Juice? I know I am.

I went to Jamba Juice yesterday for an afternoon pick-me-up. After several moments of deliberation, I settled on an Aloha Pineapple smoothie. I usually order a Strawberry Whirl, but for some strange reason I shook things up yesterday. The Strawberry Whirl is not an exciting frozen beverage. The drink’s strawberry-banana base does not shock one’s taste buds and it even bears a boring name. Yet, what the Strawberry Whirl lacks in boldness it makes up for in its consistently delicious flavor, making it a safe bet. I however have been watching far too much Rockies baseball as of late to settle for safe bets.

Maybe it was the wild orange and green walls that caused me to avoid the Strawberry Whirl. Or perhaps it was the fact that I had slugged my way through 48 ounces of coffee before 2 PM and was feeling frivolous. Electric colors and caffeine aside, I truly believe it was the Rockies that persuaded me to up the ante on my smoothie order. I thought of Giamba Juice while standing in line at my local Jamba Juice and immediately determined that it was time to knock my tongue out of the park.

The recent moves to acquire Juice Daddy and Jose Contreras demonstrate the Rockies commitment to the present. As a fan, I could not be more pleased. The looseness of the Rockies clubhouse has already rubbed off on Giambi. He is as relaxed as he is poised. Furthermore, pitching in the National League will probably allow Contreras to challenge John Smoltz and Brad Penny for the Cy Young Award.

That's not natural...but Oak Express is!

I am particularly thankful for the Giambi acquisition. Getting Contreras was a shrewd move, especially after Aaron Cook went on the DL, Jon Garland was traded to the Dodgers, and Penny signed with the Giants. Giambi however energizes the Rockies in a unique way. He brings the flair (and clutch batting) that the Rockies need at this juncture of the season.

I was in attendance last Wednesday when Giambi hit his game-winning, go-ahead, two-run double in the bottom of the eighth inning against the New York Mets. Witnessing this moment made my week. Not only did I pay a mere ten dollars to sit three rows behind first base and was allowed to bring a Chipotle burrito into the game, but I also saw firsthand how comfortable and confident Giambi is now that he is playing for the Rockies. Giambi still baffles and intimidates pitchers. Even at 38, Giambi lacks a “hole” for pitchers to throw at. He also has great eyesight, which allows him to draw plenty of walks and get on base even when he is not ripping lasers over Luis Castillo.

Giambi will devour NL pitchers one-by-one as the Rockies march into the playoffs. But more importantly, Rockies fans and players have already rallied around Giambi…and his epic handlebar mustache.

Juice Daddy has turned his frown upside down since arriving in Our Town (that rhyme was great, right?). Plus, his handlebar has flourished at altitude. His current mustache is much fuller and bolder than the one in this dated picture.

I myself headed straight to the dugout store after Giambi was named Player of the Game in an effort to purchase a Giambi jersey t-shirt. In the afterglow of Giambi’s late-game heroics, specifically his “graceful” slide into second base, I became a man on a mission. I planned to buy the shirt, immediately remove its sleeves, and then wear my new Giambi cut-off to the bars on Blake Street. Unfortunately, Rockies retail was not prepared to fulfill my request. The t-shirts were “on-order” and had yet to hit the shelves. I’m hoping to pick at least one up during the next homestand.

Rockies manager Jim Tracy calls Giambi “Russell Crowe.” This is one of the most creative and appropriate nicknames I’ve ever heard. Giambi is a gladiator. He beat cancer and battled his way back into the spotlight after admitting he used steroids. Furthermore, Giambi’s grizzled appearance and lumberjack forearms would make you believe he just might beat you down with a corded phone if he drank too much and you looked at him the wrong way (yes, Russell Crowe actually did this to a desk clerk at the Mercer Hotel in New York City).

JD doesn't just stand for Juice Daddy. That bottle is actually the size of a Geo Metro. What a powerful combination...

But looks can be deceiving.

Giambi is soft spoken and wise. He is the perfect mold for these new-look Rockies. The Rockies needed a left-handed power stroke off the bench and Giambi needed a new home and a clean slate as he enters the twilight of his career. He deserves the success he is currently enjoying with the Rockies. Giambi’s previous achievements earned him a second chance in pinstripes, just like Crowe’s better roles influenced moviegoers to forget “A Good Year.” If Hollywood had given up on Crowe in 2006, which was not “a good year,” we never would have enjoyed “American Gangster” in 2007.

Jason Giambi was Maximus in his former life. P.S. Russell Crowe, like Giambi, is a badass.

As I sit and watch the Rockies dismantle the Cincinnati Reds, I can only smile each time the camera zooms in on Juice Daddy. His iridescent shades are radical and his graying handlebar is charming. His grin remains childish. It is clear that this bear of a man still has something to prove. It is also obvious that his love of the game endures. He is calm, collected, and very cool. Above all else, Giambi is having fun again.

Giambi, not catcher Yorvit Torrealba, has just trotted over to the mound in an effort to settle the nerves of 21-year-old relief pitcher Jhoulys Chacin after his first three pitches registered as balls. This is why the Giambi experiment will work. He relishes his role on the Rockies, and he is cool enough that all the young guns will listen to him.

The Giambi acquisition made sense on paper and in theory several weeks ago when the Rockies sent Giambi to Colorado Springs. The box scores over the last ten days indicate that the Rockies front office is a clever bunch. Giambi has more than a little left in the tank, especially now that he faces NL pitchers everyday. He has singlehandedly won the Rockies two games since he joined the big league club, and the Oakland Athletics are paying the bulk of his salary. Now that’s “moneyball,” Billy Beane!

Oh wait, nevermind...Russell Crowe actually is not a badass. This photo + Watching "A Good Year" on an airplane three years ago=Me reconsidering everything I've ever thought about Russell Crowe.

Moreover, the Rockies made a bold and somewhat historic statement by remaining so active before and after the trade deadline this season. Pursuing Garland and landing Giambi, Contreras, Betancourt, and Beimel shows how special a year this is for the Rockies. This organization has never been in as favorable a position as the one it currently occupies.

The front office went on a post-trade deadline mission because this time around they knew their team had more than a fighting chance. Dan O’Dowd and his staff neutralized specific holes in the Rockies lineup with a slew of calculated, post-trade deadline acquisitions. The front office has never been in the position to make such deals.

The Rockies were a good team in 2007. However, they were not a playoff threat until they went on a 20-game tear to close out the regular season. They entered the 2007 playoffs hot, but the Red Sox eventually exposed their lack of depth and talent. The 2007 World Series might have ended differently if the Rockies had been twenty games over .500 in August and acquired some extra pieces…

Dan O'Dowd is the new Billy Beane. They are similar in many ways, except Beane was projected to be the next Ted Williams and O'Dowd LOVES God. Note: I found this picture on another wordpress blog that is called "JCSuperstars." Check it out, they have an entire section called "Become a Christian."

This year is different. The Rockies strung together months of consistent baseball for the first time in franchise history. Therefore, the front office sought to ensure that the team is deeply armed, offensively potent, and defensively solid as it embarks on its postseason journey. The fans continue to reap the rewards of the front office’s hard work. The Rockies are overflowing with young talent (just look at the plethora of outfielders) and the clubhouse is chock full of interesting story lines. We are privileged to follow a team as exciting and intriguing as the 2009 Rockies.

Aloha Pineapple! Aloha Jason!

Editor’s Note: September 15th

I’d like to inform everyone that the Huffington Post is coming to Denver! The Huffington Post will launch a Colorado-specific online publication on September 15th and I’ve been asked to regularly contribute as a sports/culture columnist. As a result, I’ve built a new site for myself at the url www.callitmilehigh.com, which will also launch on September 15th. The new site looks amazing. It will have an archive of all my dated columns, but it also boasts several new features, including an online store and a video archive. Thank you so much for your continued support over the last several months. The Huffington Post discovered me because all of you read what I have to say. Please tell your friends about my new site and the Colorado Huffington Post. I’ll continue to put my best work out there because I truly appreciate your readership. Thanks!

He's wearing purple. Why aren't you?

OK, it has been about five weeks since my last column. For that, I apologize. The past month or so has been a wild ride. I’ve moved homes, tirelessly searched for employment, and developed a full-fledged addiction to Rockies baseball.

I re-pledged my fanship to the Rockies earlier this summer. I made good on this vow by traveling to Queens to watch the Rockies play the New York Mets at the end of July. My trip to Flushing had few ups and many downs. The weather was terrible, the Rockies lost both games I attended, and Citi Field is more of an amusement park than a ballpark.

I admit that Citi Field is an architectural marvel. The stadium’s façade resembles old Ebbets Field in Brooklyn, a historical MLB ballpark, and there is not a bad seat in the house. Even so, sitting in the stands comes at a steep price–both literally and figuratively. Unfortunately, Citi Field’s classic façade does not protect the sanctity of the game played within its walls.

Citi Field is built to resemble the Brooklyn Dodgers stadium Ebbets Field. The facades match, but Citi has no soul.

Citi Field is the opposite of Coors Field. This is not surprising when one considers the location of each stadium. Contemporary Flushing is less charming than North Blake Street circa 1984, and Mets fans do not even register on the “classy fan” index. Furthermore, I paid $48 dollars per game to sit in the uppermost level above right field. I felt as though I was watching a ball game in Tokyo. The seats at Citi are piled on top of one another, creating a sense of discomfort and nauseating vertigo in the upper decks. Additionally, stadium patrons are bombarded by advertisements wherever they look and listen; as if vertigo was not enough to contend with when seated in the uppermost reaches of Citi Field.

Seriously, every inch of the new stadium was sold as ad space. Even the structural beams supporting the right field box, known as The Pepsi Porch, were not off limits to corporate sponsors. The constant flash of neon product names at Citi could trigger a seizure. Worse yet, the Mets shamelessly play loud advertisements on the stadium’s HD jumbotron in between outs. This has to be the most annoying feature of Citi Field. I learned at Citi Field that the audio experience of a baseball game is an aspect of pro sports that too often goes overlooked. Instead of breaking down the previous play with my buddy Berry, I was forced to watch and listen to ads for “upcoming non-gameday events.” Let’s hear it for “non-gameday events!” Yes! (Note to Bud Selig: I purchase tickets and travel to a ballpark to avoid annoying television advertisements. The MLB should ban talking TV ads on all stadium jumbotrons. It induces sensory overload. Franchises that force-feed verbose video advertisements to ticketholders encroach on the purity and bliss of live baseball.)

Look, it's the guy who sat in front of me at both Mets-Rockies games! Fate? I think not. "Excuse me, sir, but even though it is 9:17 PM the sheen from your fake tan is impeding upon my ability to watch Fernando Tatis bat. Also, I think some of your hair gel just oozed onto my feet." Remember to stay classy, Dirty Jerz and Strong Island!

I did not merely watch eighteen innings of baseball at Citi Field. I endured over seven hours of brutal humidity, abusive product placement, fake tans and blown out hairdos…on men, and, worst of all, pitiful play by the visiting Rockies. It was humiliating. It was tiring. It was New York City.

On the bright side, I discovered Bohemia Hall and Beer Garden in Astoria. This place quickly became one of my new favorite spots in all of New York. Bohemia Hall is New York City’s oldest beer garden. The authentic central European taphouse is located adjacent to the 7-subway line, which one takes from Manhattan to Citi Field. I stopped at Bohemia Hall for some pre-game perogis and pitchers. My Czech waiter, Viktor, introduced me to Brauchek (pronounced “bro-check,” which is awesome), a dark yet extremely drinkable Czech beer, and he treated me to the best red cabbage I’ve ever tasted. When you travel to New York City, you must check this place out.

Now back to greener, sunnier pastures…

I attended several Rockies games during the recent 10-game homestand. Coors field, what a happy place. The relaxing atmosphere and classic ballpark architecture make Coors Field one of the most pleasant professional sports stadiums in America. There is however one problem with Coors Field: the stadium employs a subpar DJ.

As I previously stated, the audio experience of an MLB game often goes overlooked. I love Coors Field, but I take issue with the fact that “We Like to Party” by Vengaboys plays after each Rockies home run. Is Denver really a Vengaboys town? I don’t think so. Furthermore, the song “We Like to Party” does not hit home (pun intended) on any personal or local level with Rockies fans. Yes, the Dutch techno beat does make ladies rise from their seats and dance after they’ve consumed three Mike’s Hard Lemonades. But the song ultimately bears no reference to the Rockies or the locality in which they play.

Several days ago I set out on a quest to find the perfect 2009 Rockies home run song. The new home run song at Coors Field needs to stand for something. It must connect the fans to their ball club every time a Rockies player completes the sweetest of strokes and goes yard. This is especially important due to the elevated (sorry, I couldn’t resist that pun either, I promise I’ll stop) number of balls that go over the wall here in Denver.

Here is a list of the best and worst songs I considered:

1. “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins

This classic 80s tune is absolutely infectious. It is impossible to keep from dancing to this song. In the same breadth, the song does not relate to Colorado, the Rockies, or baseball in any way. I suppose this fact makes it nothing more than a retro version of “We Like to Party”; the music video screams, “Our generation LOVES to party!” Additionally, the music video would have to play on the jumbotron while the song blared through the loudspeakers. The crazy 80s footwork, back flips, high-fives, and constant shots of a young, still cool Kevin Bacon would energize any Coors Field crowd even if the Rockies were losing.

2. “Colorado Rockies Team Fight Song” by Joseph Brow

I found this “gem” by youtubing “Rockies team song.” Big mistake. The existence of this song only further proves that the Rockies lack a musical identity. It’s ok, I’m working on this. Just keep reading.

3. “Rockies Anthem” by 3Oh!3

Denver appreciates the local effort, but the lyrics are far too unoriginal…and lame.

4. “Hit ‘Em Up” by 2Pac

While this song is upbeat, inherently badass, and its title doubles as a witty baseball pun that describes a home run, Pac’s lyrics are not suitable for the ballpark. I’m sure parents would love explaining to their young ones that Pac was saying “Glocks” and not “Rox” after Seth Smith hit that game-winning homer in the bottom of the ninth inning.

5. “Rocky Theme Song” from Rocky Balboa

Better. Warmer. Good. The title is appropriate and Rocky Balboa is the ultimate champion; just thinking about Rocky gets an avid sports fan’s adrenaline pumping. The beat is as funky as it is inspiring, and the song is an absolute classic, ensuring it will appeal to every generation in the ballpark. That being said, this song does not possess quite enough of an up-tempo beat to rile up the crowd following a home run. Perhaps the Rockies should instead play this song at Coors Field following each victory? The Yankees do this at Yankee Stadium with “New York, New York” by Frank Sinatra. Yes, it is time the Rockies start this tradition in Denver with the “Rocky Theme Song.” Do not write in arguing that the Rockies should start this tradition by using “Rocky Mountain High” by John Denver or anything by The Fray. There you go, you resisted that urge and you maintained your dignity.

6. “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix

I was set on this psychedelic, primal rumpus of a song for ten minutes until I remembered the next song existed. The appeal of “Purple Haze” in the context of a Rockies home run needs no explanation. Wild guitar solo that sounds great when played loudly, check. Mass appeal, check. Rockies relevancy, double check. The Rockies have some of the most…errr…interesting colors in all of sports. I say we make the best of it by taking pride in our purple. The Coors Field grandstands should be a purple haze following every Rockies homer.

7. “Start Wearing Purple” by Gogol Bordello

The Vengaboys aren't cutting it at Coors Field. We therefore need Eugene Hutz's band of racious gypsy-punk rockers, as well as his tremendous mustache, to increase rowdiness following Rockies home runs. And yes, Hutz does actually play the "fire bucket."

Gogol Bordello is a strange band. Their sound is far from mainstream but remains catchy. Not to mention, the group is actually a roving band of eastern European gypsies, making them a strange band indeed. Like the Rockies, Gogol Bordello is rough around the edges. The gypsy-punk band blends accordions and violins with electric guitars, tambourines, and even a fire bucket. They are willing to try any sound combination and always go as hard as possible in an effort to deliver the best performance possible; just ask anyone who recently saw them at the Mile High Music Festival.

The Rockies, as of late, have also dug deep and done whatever it takes to deliver an epic performance. The seven-run inning, numerous clutch hits in the bottom of the ninth, tenth, and fourteenth inning, and the addition Giamba Juice demonstrate the current passion and creativity of the Rockies organization. The Rockies are alive and rocking in the same way that Gogol Bordello does night in and night out no matter whether they are playing a gig at the Fillmore in Denver or upon a dim-lit stage in a Bratislavian beer hall.

Gogol Bordello and the Rockies are linked by their respective creativity and each are fueled by gutless passion. Frontman Eugene Hutz, an experimental DJ who plays the fire bucket, does not give up until every audience member is on his or her feet, sweating, and having as much fun as he is…or until his fourth liter of wine runs dry. Tulo, Helton, and Seth Smith are cut from the same cloth as Hutz. They just express themselves in a more coordinated and sober way. Go-gol, Rockies!

Ellis Burks, Larry Walker, and Dante Bichette are gone. So is their at-bat music. If you recall, Burks, Walker, and Bichette’s plate songs were greater than their collective hitting ability. Burks entered the box to “The Message” by Grandmaster Flash, Walker to the sinister laugh of Ozzy Osbourne in “Crazy Train,” and Bichette dug in with the eye-opening intro to “Sledgehammer” playing in the background. Helton and Tulo’s questionable music choices, such as “These Are My People” by Rodney Atkins, pale in comparison to the cuts chosen by these Rockies greats. The whiny country tunes and played out pop tracks lack the thunder and head-noddability of the Blake Street Bomber classics. Alas, players choose their own at-bat songs. However, the fans need and deserve a better team song for the 2009 Rockies, especially now that we find ourselves in the midst of a riveting pennant race.

Let’s band together. Let’s get to the ballpark. And let’s start wearing purple, wearing purple NOW!

I haven't missed this ballpark in years. I suppose it is finally time to go back...

I confess that there are two Colorado entities that I’ve remained skeptical of in recent years: The Fray and the Rockies.

Even as The Fray rose to super stardom, I was never comfortable listening to their music. I’ve never been comfortable listening to The Fray because I think their songs are dreadful. I cringe and turn the dial whenever KBCO plays a new Fray single. The group’s trite, overwrought lyrics are not even a guilty pleasure. The Fray is not piano rock or an alternative rock band. The Fray is yet another bad Christian rock band represented and popularized by Sony. That’s it.

I did not attend Denver East High School, but I nonetheless maintain strong ties to the institution. Two of my brothers went to East and many of my friends are Angel alumni. None of them are proud that The Fray featured the East High campus in a 2005 music video.

Great, you guys are in Tokyo! Now please stay there. Also, consider singing in Japanese, so I'll no longer comprehend your lame lyrics. Arigatou, fellas.

A typical fan of The Fray takes solace in the band’s hackneyed sound. Fans find lead singer Isaac Slade’s fauxhawk, faith, and pain (and his faith in pain) curiously endearing. I’ve been told that one should listen to The Fray to sooth the soul following a break up or to boost morale after a steep fall from grace. I however would play the band’s latest album, the self-titled hit “The Fray,” on a loop to initiate a break up. I am fairly certain that I could end our relationship by drowning my girlfriend in the group’s collective sorrow and confusion. The track “Where the Story Ends” seals the deal. Hearing that song for the eighth time undoubtedly convinces her that I am so depressed and emotionally frail that I cannot even help her pack up her belongings before she rushes out my door.

The Fray is not a good band. They choke on their own melodrama while Slade wishes he were David Gray. Though the band’s members hail from Colorado, it is unfortunate the group recently headlined the Mile High Music Festival. The song “You Found Me” sounds like something a fourteen year old falls in love to at Bible camp. I hear the band’s next project will be laying down the soundtrack to Young Life’s rendition of “When Harry Met Sally.”

Moving on…

I have been unwilling to trust the Colorado Rockies for much of the past decade. Truth be told, I gradually lost interest in the Rockies. As a little leaguer, I was overjoyed to finally have an MLB team in Denver to root for. I remember attending the Rockies’ second game at Mile High Stadium. I purchased a pennant that read “I Was There!” and displayed a large illustration of the stadium. Upon returning home from Mile High, I promptly used a sharpie to mark where I had sat at my first Rockies game. The pennant stayed on my wall for several years, and the little black “x” between first base and right field continued to reinforce Rockies optimism.

Ladies and Gents, Denny Neagle! That look just screams, "Sure, I enjoy being a big league pitcher. But I truly love hookers and Old Grandad Bourbon. Got a problem with that?"

My passion for the Rockies faded due to a combination of factors. For one, I stopped playing baseball. It was therefore easy to cease caring about the Rockies as the Blake Street Bombers disbanded, the losses piled up, and the franchise introduced Dinger as the team’s mascot. It was somewhere between the birth of Dinger and Denny Neagle’s infamous car-date on Colfax that I gave up on the Rockies. I did not necessarily care about Neagle’s legal woes; I was actually much more disturbed that the most shameful mascot in sports history represented a Colorado team.

Denver’s baseball culture waned following Y2K. After leading the major leagues in attendance during the mid-1990s and proving that Denver was indeed a baseball town, things went utterly wrong at Coors Field. And people, including myself, could not have cared less.

I moved to Boston soon thereafter and discovered a true baseball Mecca on Lansdowne Street. I was taken aback by the rich tradition and history of the Red Sox. Everyone in Boston followed the Red Sox. The Red Sox are to Boston, as the Broncos are to Denver. Red Sox games are always televised, and more importantly the majority of the public always watches them. When I lived in Boston, local sports radio hosts spent hours debating then-manager Grady Little’s decision to remove Nomar in the seventh inning of a seemingly meaningless May game against the Texas Rangers.

Dante, unlike Neagle, was a class act Rockie. And I want that t-shirt.

The truth is that no baseball game is meaningless in Boston. Far too many Red Sox fans care about their favorite franchise year round. The same can be said about the New York Yankees and their fan base.

Baseball is inescapable on the East coast. Red Sox and Yankees fans are like soccer hooligans in Europe or futbol fanatics in Central and Latin America. I discovered a much more exciting brand of baseball in Boston. Fenway is never empty and tickets to the big games are nearly impossible to acquire. Attending a Red Sox-Yankees game is a privilege, and going to Fenway during the playoffs will change any sports fan’s life. Yet, Bostonians and New Yorkers are equally humbled and rowdy when they attend regular season games. Their relentless enthusiasm amazes me. We are not as constantly passionate about the Rockies because professional baseball is not as significant in Denver as it is in Boston or New York.

Though Rockies fever enveloped Denver during the 2007 playoffs, I remained skeptical. At heart, I feared becoming a bandwagon fan. I had just spent the majority of a decade disinterested in Rockies baseball. It was not that I disliked the franchise. Rather, I simply did not feel anything for the Rockies because I had not tracked their successes and failures since I was a pre-teen.

Rocktober ’07 was an interesting period of my life. It brought about more personal reflection than admiration or excitement. I nonetheless emerged from Rocktober just as I had entered it: disinterested in the Rockies and pissed off that Dinger still existed.

Who honestly conceived this as the face of the Colorado Rockies? Come on! I'm even more incensed that someone continues to collect a pay check to be Dinger. Please donate the mascot's salary to charity so I feel better about this whole situation.

This summer I decided to make a concerted effort to fall back in love with the Rockies. I followed the team in the Denver Post and on ESPN.com, but these articles did not suffice. As a last resort, I read Michael Lewis’s book Moneyball. It is now safe to label me a “changed man.” I see the game of baseball in a whole new light. I watch games unfold pitch by pitch and truly appreciate the value of homegrown talent. If you are reading this column and have not read Moneyball, finish reading this column and then go read Moneyball. You do not even have to like baseball for the story to fascinate you. The book alters the way one views and dissects professional sports.

It also explains the current make up of the Colorado Rockies. The Rockies are one of the MLB’s premiere “moneyball” teams. The franchise creatively and frugally fills the holes on its roster with savvy veterans and efficient role players, while simultaneously growing talented and uniquely effective minor league prospects. Dan O’Dowd’s tendency to decline huge paydays to homegrown Rockies not named Helton and Francis is not such a travesty after all. Furthermore, it is actually a boon that O’Dowd often acquires notable players during the last year of their contracts only to part with them at season’s end (i.e. the Jason Marquis situation). Baseball, like finance, is a transient business; understanding when to let go of an asset is as important as knowing when to acquire it in the first place.

Truth be told, I did not attempt to reconnect with the Rockies on my own volition. My good friend Kevin, a New Yorker now living in Denver, convinced me to give the Rox another shot. I am already glad I did. I publicly re-pledge my fanhood to the Colorado Rockies! So there. I said it, and I promise I mean it.

I'm excited for Jim Tracy's passion and boisterous managerial style. I'm fully committing to Tracy and Co. by heading to Queens, NY next week.

I nevertheless remain unapologetic about my years of ignorance. It was a dark period for baseball in Colorado, and I proved my worth by refusing the urge to jump on the bandwagon during Rocktober ’07. I would be forced to repent if I had immediately fallen back in love with the team during the World Series run. But I didn’t.

As a testament to my commitment to the Rockies, I will attend two of the Rockies upcoming away games against the New York Mets. I’ll dig up my Dante Bichette shirt, travel to Citi Field, and root for the Rockies.

I’ve officially restored my faith in the purple and black. And no, I will not celebrate by listening to The Fray.

P.S. Thanks, Kevin. Maybe Yankee fans are not as evil and selfish as I previously thought…

Videos:

Check out Dan O’Dowd’s mid-season assessment of the Rockies

Like father like son? Take a look at Dante Bichette Jr.’s home run during the ’05 Little League World Serious. Also, pay attention as proud coach Dante Sr. cheers from the bench. We miss you, Dante.

How crazy is B-Marsh? Should we even care?

Hypocrisy stands at the root of my issues with embattled Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall. His freakish strength and unparalleled ability to create plays after the catch do not mitigate his criminal record. It is the NFL’s duty to discipline Marshall when he steps out of line. As long as Marshall beats a criminal charge and escapes the League Office, it is legitimate that he dresses on Sundays. Protest the franchise, burn a jersey, or even picket on the stadium’s steps, but rest assured that nothing will keep Marshall out of the starting lineup if he is healthy and unsuspended.

It is nevertheless damning that Marshall continues to surface as a suspect in domestic abuse cases across the country. It is far too easy for Marshall to settle these disputes inside or outside of a courtroom for us to not remain at least cautiously critical of his character; I know Harvey Steinberg nodded his head and smiled when he read this last sentence. ‘Innocent until proven guilty’ may allow Marshall to remain on the field and earn his living, but our common sense should forbid him from advising children.

This is not to say that a person who has erred greatly does not deserve a second chance. Remorse at the hands of deep reflection occasionally qualifies a public offender to tell others cautionary tales about what not to do. Our city however can no longer trust Brandon Marshall. His “genuine” remorse expired two arrests ago.

Marshall has always managed to avoid jail time. He has also managed to worm his way back into the positive spotlight time and time again. His publicist and the Denver Post have made all of this possible. But enough is enough. If the judicial system exonerates Marshall and Roger Goodell clears him to play, so be it. He is nothing more than an All-Pro wide receiver on an offensively depleted roster. As a fan, I hope he continues to score touchdowns in orange and blue. I also hope for his sake that he earns a fair salary, considering he risks his life every time he steps onto the turf. Yet, I hope most of all that Denver ceases to offer him the opportunity to say he is sorry.

Shannahan could not get Marshall to act like a gentleman off the field. Will McD even try?

This is the only way that Marshall will ‘get it’ from here on out. The prepared statements Marshall reads to reporters and releases through his attorneys can no longer suffice. The Denver Post needs to remove itself from this public relations fiasco by saying “no” to Marshall’s publicist. Articles about Marshall’s involvement with Open Door Youth Gang Alternatives should never again appear in an issue of the Post. The kids at ODYGA deserve better from Marshall and their city’s paper. Both have used these at risk kids as PR pawns. Celebrity athletes only get one shot at being a mentor. Marshall failed. The media therefore must stop trying to turn Brandon Marshall into a positive societal story.

Casting Marshall as a mentor is partially what got us to this point of no return. The media and the Broncos tried to convince the public that Marshall is something he is not: a humanitarian. He is nothing more than a confused athlete with anger management issues. Though he has never been proven guilty, he has lost his credibility within our city. He publicly apologized and promised he could change. More importantly, Marshall used ODYGA as a road to redemption. Yet, he continues to let all of us down. Why would we want to be aware of anything this man thinks beyond his postgame reactions on Sundays?

Laud Marshall’s on-field courage and feel free to label him an athletic specimen, but it is best to refrain from speculating about his off-field persona. Stick to football-related questions when it comes to Number 15 because that is all he understands. Plus, we have already devoted far too much spotlight to his questionable character, poor judgment, and pithy public apologies.

Hi, my name is Brandon Marshall, which in ancient Greek means: "One who engages in 7 domestic disputes in 3 states in a 4-year span." Pretty sweet name, right? I totally rack up numbers on and off the field.

We can focus on the box score and forget about the humanitarian formerly known as Brandon Marshall, but how does a fan put morals aside and pull for an athlete like Marshall? What, if anything, does a professional athlete owe his or her fans and community?

These are pertinent questions as JR Smith enters the penitentiary, Michael Vick is released from federal custody, and Marshall heads to training camp in a week and a courtroom later this fall.

Charles Barkley once said, “Just because I can dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.” Chuck was absolutely correct. It is not a professional athlete’s responsibility to raise a community’s children. Parents must teach their children to distinguish right from wrong. Furthermore, an NBA power forward’s job is to perform in the paint, not educate local youths or volunteer on all his off-days. Though athletes can significantly improve a community by organizing charity events and spearheading positive local causes, it is ultimately an athlete’s personal decision whether he or she embraces community activism.

The general public often forgets this crucial fact because fans and media are so quickly lost amidst the fortune and fame of professional sports. It is nonetheless important to bear in mind that these gifted men and women are still individual citizens. They (usually) pay their taxes just like the rest of us, which entitles them to choose their own path and spend their money as they see fit. It is therefore naïve and idealistic to assume all player contracts are social contracts, as well. As long as an athlete fulfills his or her league and/or team’s community service requirements and obeys the law, the public cannot condemn an athlete for not exerting extra humanitarian effort.

By extension of Chuck’s logic, it becomes the public’s duty to highly scrutinize those professional athletes who have publicly sought and accepted roles as mentors within our community. We should commend athletes who uphold their public promises and remain consistent by criticizing those who fail to meet the lofty, well-publicized expectations they set for themselves. The integrity of our city hinges upon our collective ability to wade through celebrity rhetoric, discerning right from wrong, the genuine from the fraudulent, and the faces we can trust from those that will only let us down.

Furthermore, human experience demonstrates that few things are more frustrating and potentially harmful than teachers who neglect to practice what they preach.

JR just realized that 3 times 10 equals 30. Congrats, JR! Now you can quantify the number of days you have to spend in jail. If you didn't have such a great attorney, you would have been sentenced to 3 times as many days. Solve that equation and get back to me.

Brandon Marshall and JR Smith are like family members who you secretly dislike, but you are obligated to treat with civility. The NFL and NBA League Offices are your grandparents, and the Broncos and Nuggets’ management are only your mother and father. As long as your grandparents keep a relative in the family, no one else can kick him or her out. You do not have to love these players or respect their personal choices, but you might as well try and make the best of their performances in Denver.

That said, feel free to say whatever you like when your bothersome “relatives” are not around…or when you are not watching the game of the week.

The citizens of Denver are entitled to hold the city’s professional athletes to a certain standard of decency. A season ticket holder obviously reserves the right to complain about any member of the organization he or she has invested his or her money in; this goes for rude ushers and subpar chefs, as well as criminal shooting guards and abusive wideouts. However, Colorado’s non-season ticket holders and non-sports fans also deserve to be heard.

The citizens of Adams, Arapahoe, Boulder, Denver, Douglas, and Jefferson County have paid $11.45 annually since 1991 to subsidize the construction of Coors Field; this tax expires in 2011 or when the stadium is paid off. The city of Denver gave the Broncos a $15 million stadium site for $1, and we tax ourselves a penny on every $10 spent in metro-Denver to pay for the field Brandon Marshall makes his money on. Pat Bowlen and Co. only paid for 25% of the new $400 million Mile High Stadium, while taxpayers agreed to contribute over $250 million to the project.*

Also, do you recall what happened to the sale of the Avalanche and Nuggets during the months before the Pepsi Center opened in 1999? Mayor Wellington Webb successfully blocked Donald Sturm’s purchase of the Avalanche, Nuggets, and Pepsi Center. Sturm refused to include a clause in the sale that prohibited moving the Avalanche and Nuggets out of Denver for the next twenty-five years. Webb argued that the city of Denver  had every right to be weary of selling these franchises to Sturm, considering the millions of dollars taxpayers had contributed to the teams in tax breaks, infrastructure costs, and other subsidies. Of Mayor Webb’s actions, author Dennis R. Judd wrote, “The city’s ability to veto the Sturm deal gave it leverage over future sales; it also indicates that other cities can establish conditions on selling publicly subsidized facilities that can enhance their odds of gaining a return on these investments.”

Look, it's Denver attorney Harvey Steinberg! Oh my bad, that's just Michael Clayton. I get them confused because they both make a living performing miracles for less than admirable people.

The Broncos, Nuggets, Avalanche, and Rockies are privately owned, but they are still public entities. The jerseys our city’s pros don represent more than the organizations they play for. Those logos are funded by your tax dollars, giving you the right to critique each and every player in Denver.

All that I ask is that we criticize carefully. Consider all of the facts and occasionally put yourself in an athlete or owner’s shoes when forming your own opinions. The Broncos should not trade Brandon Marshall because the NFL League Office has not significantly punished him. He has a discouraging off-field track record, but the Broncos still need to satisfy their fan base by winning games and making the playoffs. Furthermore, the Denver media can limit Marshall’s celebrity by refusing to publish stories about his personality. In the mean time, the public can do and say whatever it wishes.

Just do yourself a favor and heed your mother’s advice: think before you speak.

Here's the real Harvey Steinberg exitting a Denver courtroom with "fan favorite" Todd Sauerbrun. Such a gentleman, emphasis on the "gentle." Just ask the cab driver Todd assaulted.

* Figures taken from Dennis R. Rudd’s 2003 book The Infrastructure of Play: Building the Tourist City

Videos:

Watch Brandon Marshall defend himself

Watch an interview with Marshall’s ex-girlfriend

Look at Yao's face. He is extremely frustrated. This is exactly why the Nuggets need Marc Gasol.

As I mentioned in my mailbag a couple days ago (even before the Afflalo trade), the Nuggets should seriously consider making a run at Marc Gasol. The trade the Nuggets completed yesterday puts the team in an excellent position to land the 7’1” Baby Gasol. This would in turn put the Nuggets in an excellent position to contend for an NBA title.

The Nuggets clearly need another offensively capable big man to complement Martin and Birdman’s defensive abilities, as well as take some of the heat off of Nene in the offensive paint. Marc Gasol is perfectly suited to fulfill this role. He is long, strong, and down to get the friction on (thanks, Sir Mix a Lot) in the low post. He has good strength at 265 pounds, makes powerful moves underneath the basket, is effective at drawing contact from defenders en route to the rim, and is a willing passer who looks to kick the ball out to an open teammate before taking his own shot from down low. He also possesses a nice right-handed hook shot.

Acquiring the Spaniard would finally give the Nuggets the size to push around the Lakers, Spurs, Cavs, Celtics, and Magic. Adding Gasol would also make the Nuggets a much more versatile and less predictable team. Karl could start Gasol, shift Nene over to power forward, and bring Martin off the bench against a big team like the Lakers. Against smaller, quicker teams, such as the Spurs, Gasol come off the bench to spell Martin when the team needed height and/or an offensive boost in the post.

The 24-year-old has plenty of room to grow, and he’ll undoubtedly improve once Steve Hess gets him in the gym. Seriously, think about how much Hess helped Nene’s game. Gasol would be an absolute beast at a leaner, stronger 265 pounds.

Let’s take a quick look at some numbers. In fact, who better to compare Marc Gasol to than his big bro, perennial all-star Pau Gasol…

Per 40 minutes, Pau averaged 19.1 points 9.7 total rebounds and 3.1 offensive rebounds, 2.3 blocks, .5 steals, and 2.9 assists during his rookie NBA season. Last year was Marc’s first season in the NBA and he put up some pretty solid numbers himself. Marc’s per 40-minute stat line reads as follows: 15.5 points, 9.6 total rebounds and 3.3 offensive rebounds, 1.4 blocks, 1.04 steals, and 2.2 assists. Though Pau scored a few more points, Marc still held his own. One must keep in mind that Marc was the Grizzlies third scoring option last year behind OJ Mayo and Rudy Gay. Even LeBron’s numbers would dip if he played in a starting-five that included Mayo and Gay. Also, remember that Pau was the go-to-guy during his first year in Memphis. Every play ran through him. Therefore, Marc did a pretty solid job by managing 11.7 points 7.4 rebounds 1.1 blocks in 30 minutes per game last season. Those numbers are exactly what the Nuggets would need out of him. Furthermore, his defense would improve while playing for a better team and coach in Denver.

It is honestly a godsend that Gasol plays for the Memphis Grizzlies. Memphis GM Chris Wallace literally gives away Gasols to other Western Conference teams. Furthermore, Gasol became expendable last month when the Grizzlies drafted 7’3” C Hasheem Thabeet, and followed this selection by trading SF/SG Quentin Richardson to the Clippers for PF Zach Randolph. These subsequent moves leave Memphis with a crowded big man rotation. The franchise wants to develop Thabeet by keeping him on the court, Z-Bo is known to erupt if he does not receive ample playing time, and the team drafted 21-year-old PF Darrell Arthur last year. Arthur, the gifted former Jayhawk, played effectively in 19 minutes per game last season, and the team does not wish to suppress his development by slashing his minutes this year. Not to mention Memphis still has 7’2” Iranian center Hamed Haddadi on the roster.

Chris Wallace explaining why he enjoys giving away Gasols. I think he is saying that the southern franchise finds the Gasols' facial hair unbecoming and their Euro attitudes too liberal and non-rigid. Whatever, Chris. Just give us Marc.

The Grizzlies’ offseason decisions also leave them devoid of smaller frontcourt reserves, shooting guards, and players in general. There are only eight players currently on the team’s roster (nine if you count Hakim Warrick, who will likely return at the QE). This is where the Nuggets come in. The Nuggets could re-sign Kleiza to the QE and then promptly trade him, Steven Hunter’s expiring contract, and Sonny Weems in exchange for Gasol. Both teams win in this trade.

Kleiza offers the Grizzlies instant offense from the bench, and is an upgrade over GF Marko Jaric. He is a better athlete than Jaric and more versatile because at 6’8” Kleiza can play 2-4. He is also a valuable (and cheap!) insurance policy behind OJ Mayo and Rudy Gay, which the team needs now that Quentin Richardson is off to LA. The Grizzlies also receive an attractive $3.7 million expiring contract; the franchise can also increase its cap flexibility for the summer of 2010 should the front office choose to let Kleiza walk at the end of next season. Sonny Weems is a D-League star, who would likely blossom while playing significant minutes in Memphis since they lack shooting guards. This trade therefore gives Memphis much needed bench scoring, lands young talent at the right positions, and frees up at least $3.7 million in cap room next summer. Heck, throw in a 2011 1st round draft pick and if necessary a 2nd rounder to ensure Chris Wallace jumps at the deal. Landing Gasol at $3.3 million is far too rewarding a possibility to pass up.

Plus, it would be ideal to acquire Gasol at this stage of his career. His contract, like Martin’s, expires after the 2011 season. The Nuggets should add Gasol now so that he develops solid chemistry with Carmelo, JR, and Nene in hopes of keeping this nucleus together long-term with the cap space the Nuggets will have once the Great Martin Contract ends.

I’m going crazy here. The Nuggets and Grizzlies are two teams that need to make deals, each team possesses the necessary pieces, and Chris Wallace is involved. If anyone besides Mitch Kupchak can convince Wallace to give him Marc Gasol, it has to be NBA Executive of the Year Mark Warkentein.

Pau to Marc: You wanna come way out west wit me, right baby bro?!

This potential trade leaves the Nuggets with 11 players on the roster (I’ve included Birdman and Lawson). The Nuggets could follow up this trade by using the remainder of the MLE and/or minimum contract offers to fill their 4 remaining roster spots. The Nuggets still need a third point guard, and they should re-sign Anthony Carter to the minimum to fill this role. He knows the offense, is a good character guy, and Karl likes him. The Nuggets should then consider signing SF Matt Barnes. Barnes solidifies the Nuggets’ defense and 3-point shooting, and his presence could prove to be invaluable if Balkman and Afflalo are not ready to log playoff minutes; he would still end up costing at least $1.2 million less than Kleiza. The Nuggets could also offer this money to PF Tim Thomas, who was bought out by the Chicago Bulls earlier today. I discussed the merits of acquiring Thomas in my July 2nd column.

It is also true that the Nuggets possess some talent on their summer league team. The Nuggets therefore might consider signing a couple of these players to fill out the roster. Kareem Rush’s 3-point shooting and 6’6” body would be a nice addition, and Coby Karl is a smart player.

This deal makes far too much sense for it not to go down. As a fan, I cannot think of any offseason move that would excite me more than pairing Nene with a young 7-foot beast like Marc Gasol. Plus, the move helps Kroenke’s balance sheet because adding Gasol would increase the Nuggets’ international marketability. Come on, E. Stanley. He isn’t even that expensive. You can bank on Marc Gasol. Do it for the fans, por favor?

Food for thought:

Is anyone else tired of JR Smith? I know I am getting there. The Nuggets should consider trading JR Smith if he is what it takes to land Marc Gasol. JR is a brilliant (and lucky) shooter. And yes, his explosive offense did single-handedly win the Nuggets a few games last season. However, let’s not forget that JR is currently sitting in a jail cell because he ran a traffic light and killed his best friend. JR claims he has grown up, but I don’t buy it. He appeared on a live internet feed during an early morning traffic stop in New Jersey three weeks ago. Smith and Eddie Curry, an NBA prima donna who needs to get his life together and lose enough weight to run up and down the court, were passengers in the car that had been pulled over. The NBA players joked that they would give $1,000 to the first person in the SUV to run out of the stopped vehicle and tap the hood of the police cruiser. Way to go, Young Rich. Ask yourself, “Are these the actions of a true champion?” I think not. JR is currently too foolish and immature to play on a team destined to win an NBA title. I just do not see a team that he is a part of winning a ring. But the Grizzlies will not compete for a ring anytime soon and JR’s wild game would certainly sell some tickets in Memphis. The Nuggets might actually grow more disciplined, hungry, and competitive if they picked up Matt Barnes and dumped JR to land Gasol. Just something to consider…

Smith and his defense attorneys. Shouldn't he be in the gym? The face of an NBA champion? I think not.

Arron looks pretty good in powder blue.

Mark Warkentein treated Nuggets nation to a deep breath and moment of repose yesterday afternoon. The Nuggets upgraded and filled out their roster by acquiring SG Arron Afflalo and PF Walter Sharpe from the Detroit Pistons in exchange for a second-round draft pick. This trade is yet another savvy basketball and financial move by Mr. Warkentein, especially in the wake of Dahntay Jones’s departure to Indiana.

Due to the emergence of Rodney Stuckey and Will Bynum, Afflalo flew under the radar in Detroit. Expect him to be front and center in Denver. Afflalo, a defensive specialist, immediately becomes the Nuggets’ back-up shooting guard. Coach Karl will likely depend on him to slow down an opposing team’s most offensively potent guard. He is also an effective three-point shooter, who possesses a serious upside at 23 years of age.

Most importantly, Afflalo uses his head. He respects the game and understands that playing in the NBA is a privilege and not a right. Riding the bench behind Hamilton, Iverson, Stuckey, and Bynum taught him how to earn his minutes. He plays with desire at both ends of the court, and the Nuggets are markedly better for acquiring him. Wait a second. This 23-year-old sounds a little too good to be true. Upon further inspection, he kind of is.

Afflalo is an intelligent young man. As a freshman at UCLA, Afflalo made the Athletic Director’s Honor Roll during his spring semester. Even as he spent countless hours in the gym and on the road pursuing an NCAA tournament bid, Afflalo maintained the discipline to go above and beyond in the classroom. Qualifying for the Honor Roll at UCLA is not easy. Making the Honor Roll at UCLA while simultaneously committing oneself to an elite Division I sports team is an incredible achievement.

Arron Afflalo’s story only gets better.

Afflalo improved drastically during his sophomore season at UCLA. He grew into the team’s leading scorer by averaging 15.8 points per contest, but he also led the Bruins’ defensive charge. Afflalo’s scoring and defensive prowess drove the Bruins all the way to the Final Four in 2006.

Afflalo put on a show during the 2006 NCAA Tourney, as he constantly came through on offense and defense in clutch situations. The sophomore shooting guard hit the game-winning three-point shot against Alabama, advancing the Bruins to the Sweet Sixteen. Yet, it was Afflalo’s tight defense down the stretch that turned his own shot into the game-winner. Alabama held the ball during the game’s final seconds, but Afflalo refused to back down and forced point guard Ronald Steele into missing the potential game-winning shot for the Crimson Tide. Afflalo demonstrated his two-way abilities again during UCLA’s upset over Memphis in the Elite Eight. He shut down Tigers leading scorer Rodney Carney, a player the Nuggets briefly considered acquiring this summer, and added 15 points as the Bruins reached the Final Four. I’d bet my season tickets that Mark Warkentein dissected that game tape in the past two weeks…

Afflalo’s most significant performance of the tournament came against Gonzaga in the Sweet Sixteen. Afflalo scored 15 points and matched up well against 2006 Player of the Year Adam Morrison (remember him?) during the Bruins’ comeback victory. However, it was not Afflalo’s athletic abilities that set him apart during this particular night in Oakland. It was his head and heart.

Afflalo is a class act. After sparking the comeback that brought the Bruins to the '06 Final Four, he helped Morrison off the floor. Arron, a sociology major at UCLA, really does understand people in the face of great societal pressures. Unfortunately for Adam, Arron didn't major in psychology.

The Bruins trailed the Bulldogs by 9 points with three minutes remaining in the game, but Afflalo’s team successfully rallied to reach the Elite Eight. The defeat crushed Morrison. He had played his heart out the entire season, and I’m fairly certain he left his soul on the court against UCLA that evening (Note: Morrison has never been the same since this game ended). After the final horn sounded, Morrison remained face down and inconsolable at center court. Before celebrating his first trip to the Final Four, Afflalo joined teammate Ryan Hollis, picked up the Gonzaga captain, and helped him off the floor. This act remains a defining display of NCAA sportsmanship.

For the record, Afflalo accomplished all of this before turning 21. His instincts seem to grow better with age. The following season Afflalo averaged 17.4 points per game and was voted Pac-10 Player of the Year. On winning the award, Afflalo stated, “It is good that contributions on both ends of the floor are recognized … If you truly have a love and passion for the game, then you should work at every aspect of it, not just the part that gives you (attention), that being scoring.” These words have to be music to George Karl’s ears, and it is easy to see why Chauncey emphatically endorsed Afflalo when the front office consulted him on the trade.

As Joe Sakic walks away from the Denver sports stage, it is comforting to see that the Nuggets are hiring quality personnel. The team already possessed a gentleman in Nene, but acquiring Chauncey gave the Nuggets a new identity. The Nuggets have grown into a classy bunch on the whole. I hope they build off of last season’s success not only by continuing to win, but also by accepting the challenge of acting as the full-time face of pro sports in Colorado. They are currently Denver’s most talented pro team, after all. Afflalo’s defense and three-point range will undoubtedly help the Nuggets rack up victories next season, and his small salary looks great on the team’s financial ledger. But I’m also confident that his presence will have a positive effect on his teammates, as well as the city’s perception of the franchise.

One thing remains certain. Afflalo is clearly a student of the game.

How do you feel about the Chris Andersen contract? Also, trading for an undersized power forward is NOT what the Nuggets need. They would still have the gaping problem of Nene being their only 1v1 big man defender. Birdman plays hard, but he is best coming from an off ball spot. While Martin is awesome and physical, he is slightly undersized. A lanky PF is more of the same!
-Darrel, Lakewood.

Get these guys on the same team. The sooner the better.

I like the Andersen re-signing, but I’m somewhat worried about the length of the contract the Nuggets gave him. A backloaded 5-year deal means the Birdman, who is currently 31 years old, will be pulling in full MLE money by the time he is 35-36 years old. The Birdman relies on his explosive hops to be an effective player, and NBA big men usually lose some of their bounce during their mid-30s. He could be a fairly “weathered” veteran during the last couple years of his contract.

You’re right about the type of defense Birdman plays. He is a great off-ball, help defender because his energy and athleticism allow him to swoop in for blocks and rebounds. Yet, his post defense leaves something to be desired. He has trouble boxing out larger, stronger post players, but the Nuggets often leave this dirty work to Martin and Nene. Also, the lack of a fourth big man occasionally hinders Birdman’s performance. If Martin racks up early fouls, Birdman must play less aggressively to avoid fouling out while playing extended minutes. As a result, his effectiveness wanes. A fourth big man would give Birdman and the rest of the frontcourt more foul protection.

The biggest problem with Birdman is not his defense, but rather his offense.

Therefore, the Nuggets really need a big man who can space the floor and/or open up the lane at the offensive end. They need someone who is tough and complements Birdman and Martin’s defensive strengths. It would be an added bonus if this big man is capable of playing above average defense. In a perfect world, the Nuggets would acquire 7’1” Marc Gasol, so they could move Nene to PF and play a huge lineup. Gasol however is not coming to the Nuggets anytime soon…unless Grizzlies GM Chris Wallace decides to gift-wrap another Gasol and ship him out West.

As I’ve said in my recent columns, the Nuggets should try to get a gritty yet offensively productive swingman (i.e. Matt Barnes) and go after the largest, most offensively capable big man they can acquire. Now that Rasheed Wallace and Channing Frye are off the table, it will be interesting to see who the Nuggets pursue to fill this void. If the team truly wants to contend, I don’t think they can stick to the cheap approach they took last offseason. They cannot bank on signing the next Birdman. The front office needs to use one of the team’s Traded Player Exceptions to acquire an offensively potent big man, who is taller than 6’9″. Marvin Williams is an interesting sign and trade option, but I think he is slightly undersized and would not come cheaply. The Nuggets can’t go wrong as long as they acquire useful size this summer (Note: Drew Gooden is NOT useful size). Please, no more Steven Hunters…or Drew Goodens.

Note: I now can’t stop fantasizing about Marc Gasol playing for the Nuggets. I’m salivating. He and Nene would light up the post. They’d eat Pau and Bynum for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and fourth meal. Baby Gasol becomes a free agent in two summers when Martin’s deal finally expires and clears $16.5 million in cap space. Imagine if the Nuggets use this money to re-sign JR Smith, who should be a stud by the year 2011, and acquire Gasol. A starting lineup of Gasol, Nene, Melo, JR, and Chauncey with a (hopefully) talented Ty Lawson coming off the bench. Wow. Dare to dream, Denver. Dare to dream.

All of Denver’s mid-twenties bar patrons know that Jay Cutler’s flip cup game is more lacking than his chin.  Kyle Orton has got to be an improvement in this area, but I’m not sure he drinks.  How did the recent QB turmoil change Denver’s nightlife?
- Dave, Denver.

I mislabeled Orton just another farm boy from Iowa. Little did I know, he's way more fun than Jay Cutler, who we all mislabeled a strong leader. Hey, at least Kyle has an affinity for "Old Number 7"...

Jay Cutler is good at drinking, but he is not good at drinking games. You’re right, he is an atrocious flip cup player. Flip cup requires a certain amount of “touch” that he never displayed in Denver. Maybe it was the altitude. Or perhaps he was so jacked up on insulin shots that he couldn’t steady his hands enough to consistently flip his cup end over end. I suppose we’ll never know. For the record, I’ve heard that Jay is even worse at beer pong. His stroke with a ping-pong ball is less accurate than his throwing arm from inside the red zone.

I too have wondered how the QB change will affect LoDo’s nightlife. But the fact of the matter is that Cutler didn’t party downtown all that much. He chose to frequent University of Denver bars, which was odd considering he was the state’s most high-profile athlete. I bet he was just self-conscious about his chin (or lack thereof), so he concentrated on star-struck coeds.

I’ll admit that I was less than ecstatic when the Broncos acquired Kyle Orton. Orton appears more boring than Cutler in pretty much every way. Whenever I watched the Bears play, I thought to myself, “Man, I’d be so bummed if Kyle Orton quarterbacked the Broncos. (Yawn) Is there a more plain QB in the NFL? And what the hell is up with that beard? Is he trying to look like a homeless Keanu Reeves?

Is that Kyle Orton? No, it's Keanu Reeves as Don John "The Bastard" in a 1993 rendition of Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing." Orton's rag tag beard bears a striking resemblance to Keanu's.

Orton is no gunslinger and he sometimes looks more like a haggard drifter than a playboy QB. But I sold him short. I’m sorry, Kyle. Upon further inspection, you actually seem like a pretty fun dude. Ladies and gents, there’s a new “Old Number 7” in town…

It is so fitting that Orton was a Boilermaker in college at Purdue. In the immortal words of Kenny Powers, this guy is down to rage on the reg. I see him throwing 4 to 6 more touchdowns this season (assuming BMarsh is in the lineup), raising his completion percentage by 5 points, and dieseling at least 10 handles of Jack Daniels in the process. Only one question remains: how much of that whiskey will actually make its way into Orton’s mouth?

See, Kyle is a big fan of the scream chug, causing him to spill inordinate amounts of booze down the front of his shirt. That is unless he’s removed his shirt, which is a move he has been known to pull from time to time (so college, bro!). In fact, he probably grows that patchy wolfman beard to absorb spilt libations. I’m thrilled Kyle’s beard might actually have a purpose. To think, I spent all those years assuming he grew it to look like a mid-90s Keanu, a farmer, or a train bum. Very unfair of me.

Frankly, I’m excited to see Orton in action and you should be, too. McDaniels’s system will likely improve his onfield performance, and we all know that a beer shotguns faster at 5,280 feet. Welcome to Denver, Kyle!

Come on, basketball players don’t live on Wash Park. Step it up.
- Chris, Denver.

What Clady lacks in base running speed, he makes up for in slugging percentage and opposite field power.

Last week I said that Channing Frye’s bulldogs would look good in Wash Park. Unfortunately, Frye will walk his bulldogs in the desert sun next season. Chris, you make an astute observation. No Nuggets players live on the park. But what if they did? I wish more of Denver’s athletes lived within the city limits. Too many of these guys seclude themselves in Parker and Cherry Hills. It would be so great to see JR Smith and Adam Foote strolling around the pond, Kenyon Martin and DJ Williams playing bocce ball, or Champ teaching Tulo how to do a back flip in the grass. What about a celebrity athlete softball league? I could see McDaniels getting extremely excited and competitive about this. Ryan Clady would definitely lead the league in home runs. Sorry, Brad Hawpe. Once again, dare to dream, Denver.

Denver needs a real big man. I love Nene and God bless him, but he’s not the type of big man that leads a team to titles.  Think about those that do: Shaq, KG, Duncan, and Gasol.  Nene? Not there yet. If the Nugs want to win, they either bet that he grows into that dominating role (a big bet) or they go get someone else. He can’t smile his way into starting forever.
- Brian, New York.

Nene is pretty damn good, Brian. He had an incredible ’08-’09 campaign. The Thrill from Brazil played inspired basketball and was a remarkably efficient offensive and defensive center last year. In fact, I’d say that Nene was a top-5 center in the league last season. There is no way the Nuggets would have contended without Nene manning the middle. Comparing him to Shaq, KG, and Duncan in their primes is not fair. Those are three of the best big men to ever play the game. Nene is growing into a complete player, and the 26-year-old has an enormous upside. I see him averaging 20 pts and 8 rebs once the Nuggets if he avoids injuries, continues to work hard, and the front office acquires another big man.

Look, it's the Nuggets post presence with Nene and Marc Gasol in the starting lineup. So primal! Seriously, get Nene some help now or else I'm going to turn into the disgruntled fellow on the left.

Nene is better than Andrew Bynum, and has the potential to be as effective a player as Pau Gasol. He really does. Yes, Nene and Gasol possess very different skill sets, but I think Nene could help his team as much as Gasol does if the Nuggets can add one more big man this summer. The Nuggets simply did not have the frontcourt depth last season for Nene to break out against the Lakers. Gasol and Bynum were able to smother him in the post because he was the Nuggets’ only offensive option down low. If the Nuggets had another offensively competent big man, I think Nene would have thrown down 20 points every game against the Lakers.

Also, Nene is one of the nicest guys you’d ever meet. He is thankful for all of his talents and gives new meaning to the term “team player.” Seeing Nene smile puts me at ease. I hope he has a sister, and I really hope she flashes the same toothy grin. I’d try to marry her for her smile even if she is a foot taller than me.

Should Denver natives/fans take offense to the “fake” mile high club resulting from airplane trysts?  I think so.
- William, Denver.

I’m going to disagree. No offense taken here. But I think the Nuggets need to devise some way of marketing the term “Mile High Club.” Maybe Kroenke could put a “Mile High Club” inside the Pepsi Center? As long as the Club raised enough revenue to acquire a legit scoring big man (or Marc Gasol in 2 years!) without significantly raising ticket prices, I could deal with the moral ramifications of having an onsite gentleman’s club at home games. Put the Club on the ground level and connect it directly to the Tuaca Chill Zone with an escalator. Boom, cash cow! Now go sign some players.

Denver is a city known for its great weather, proximity to the mountains, outdoor sports, crunchy yuppies, and fit, attractive citizens who all have fit, attractive dogs.  Now you’re telling me Denver has great (as in the top 5 cities) sports fans also. Horse(expletive).  You can’t have it all Denver, you just can’t.  It’s just not fair.
- Sleepless in Seattle.

It's 4am Seattle, do you know where your father is?

The Mile High City is pretty great. Seattle sports fans have endured a rough few years. I’m truly sorry you lost the Supersonics. That was robbery and you have every right to be livid. And it’s too bad the Mariners are not what they used to be. And it’s a bummer it rains all the time. Jim Mora will probably wreck the Seahawks, too. Look on the bright side (is there a “bright side” of that city?), you guys have chic modern stadiums, so you’ll be comfortable attending games if your teams ever get good again. Griffey’s back, too. Since you lost the Sonics, check out some of the local middle school and junior high leagues. I hear they are budding with young talent since Shawn Kemp lived in the area for the better part of a decade. Seriously, just move to Denver and the rest will take care of itself. Bison burgers are way better than king salmon anyway.

You’re an idiot. Your website sucks and so do the Avalanche.
- RJ

Thanks for your bold, encouraging words, RJ. Very creative and inspiring. It’s funny because I can track your IP address using Google Analytics and you clicked on each of my columns, logging over 20 minutes on my POS website. Also, I think you’re located in Canada. Have fun living in the apartment above the bar that we’re all partying excessively loudly at. The Avs will be back, just you wait and see. Memo to Matt Duchene: keep shooting those pucks in your backyard while wearing a fly mask (go 5:40 into the clip), it builds character…and make sure you’re really good really soon. Oh technology.

Peace out, Kyle. You bring your A-Game to every party. Just don't forget it when you report to Dove Valley in two weeks.

Don't look back, Super Joe. You will be sorely missed.

Super Joe has decided to go. Oh no!

The longtime Avalanche captain is retiring after playing 20 remarkable seasons in the NHL. Tip your hat to Number 19. Denver owes Joe Sakic more gratitude than he’d ever be willing to accept.

It is difficult to articulate the degree to which Denver will miss Joe Sakic. See, words were never really Sakic’s thing. Sakic, a consummate leader, was one of the quietest players in the Avalanche dressing room. He preferred to lead by example, letting his wrist shot, Claude Lemieux’s fists, and Patrick Roy’s pads and mouth do all the talking. Joe Sakic and Peter Forsberg combined to form one of the most effective 1-2 punches in NHL history, not to mention the least boisterous captain/co-captain tandem in the league for several seasons.

Sakic is humble, but he is not shy. His demeanor is formal and considerate. He possesses a strong handshake, always looks you straight in the eye, and never forgets to say ‘thank you.’ He is a gentleman first and an All-Star second. His reverence for his teammates and coaches was only surpassed by his respect for his opponents. Sakic was a smart player, who kept his friends close and his enemies closer. Maybe that is why he was so effective on the power play? Nah. His wrist shot was just that good.

Sakic is one of the classiest to ever play in the NHL. He always respected his opponents, as well as the integrity of the game. He and Kris Draper go way back. I wonder if they are talking about Claude Lemieux?

Replacing Sakic’s wrister will be far easier than replacing his quiet confidence. Stoicism goes much further in hockey than it does in other professional sports. The Stanley Cup playoffs are as mentally draining as they are physically grueling. Sakic guided the Avalanche through each postseason with unmatched grace. Anyone who has ever played hockey will tell you that there are only two cures for losing a playoff game by one goal: ice cold beer and a stoic captain. Joe Sakic kept his teammates from knocking back these bittersweet beers because his scoring touch gave the Avalanche a chance to win every night. His presence has allowed his teammates and fans to dream about champagne each season for the last two decades.

I worshipped the Avalanche as a kid, but Sakic was never my favorite player on the team. I think this was because I understood how great he was. I never wished to own a Sakic jersey. Everyone had one, and I wanted to be original. Yet, my desire to stand out came as a result of Sakic’s greatness. His name and number were everywhere, so I wanted to don another player’s. I subtly honored Sakic every time I pulled on my Team Sweden jersey before a hockey practice or wore my Hejduk sweater to the Pepsi Center.

Growing up I played for a Denver area hockey team. Every Saturday and Sunday during the winter my friends and I gathered to play general hockey at a local outdoor rink. I was skating in my Team Sweden jersey one weekend when something caught my eye. As I skated up the boards, I recognized a man standing next to the glass. His curly, unkempt mullet fell upon the shoulders of his black leather jacket. A foxy blonde stood at his side. It was none other than Avalanche rookie Milan Hejduk.

A voice came over the loudspeaker ordering us off the ice. We had to leave the premises because a private party had reserved the rink for the remainder of the afternoon. We promptly skated off the ice, but we were saved before we could remove our shoulder pads. Adam Deadmarsh and Joe Sakic stopped us from leaving. They explained to the rink manager that we were now their guests at the Colorado Avalanche’s annual Christmas party. Deadmarsh then proceeded to rent a pair of figure skates because his wife bet him that he could not successfully play broomball in them. I teamed up with Deadmarsh and we squared off against Shean Donovan and my little brother. Deadmarsh and I lost. With Deadmarsh stumbling over his toe pick, we simply could not compete against Donovan’s blazing speed and my brother’s crafty stickhandling. I shook off the defeat over appetizers with Scott Parker.

I remember recounting the day’s events to my father at home later that evening. He is not a sports fanatic by any means. He does however admire the Avalanche and he loved watching me play hockey. With one look at the width of my smile, my father knew it had been the best day of my life. He smiled right back at me and told me I would never forget skating with those guys. And I haven’t. I still recall every detail from the three hours that my heroes were my buddies. Joe Sakic made it happen.

Watching on TV as Sakic hoisted the Cup in '96 was a highlight of my childhood. I'll never forget attending the victory parade downtown in which Sakic presented Colorado with its first world championship trophy.

When the Broncos let Denver down in the ’95-’96 Wild Card Game, Sakic picked the city up. He took us all under his wing and led the Avalanche to the Stanley Cup Finals. After defeating the Florida Panthers, Sakic proudly presented Colorado with Lord Stanley’s Cup. It was our state’s first world title. The image of Sakic hoisting the Cup in Civic Center Park still gives me goose bumps.

The ’95-’96 Colorado Avalanche was a special team. I think the players loved playing in Denver because even though they were winning games they could still walk down the streets of Cherry Creek completely unnoticed. These guys did not demand attention or expect admiration. They quietly went about their business and got the job done, earning our respect and winning our hearts in the process. This team’s selfless attitude was a reflection of its noble leader. The franchise flourished for the next decade because Sakic navigated the team to victory in ’96. Sakic, of course, would defer such enormous praise.

It hurts me to see Super Joe walk away. This morning I watched a Sakic tribute video on the internet; it was like watching “Rudy.” Then I texted my father and brother to remind each of them to watch these tribute videos alone because tearing up in the presence of friends and family is awkward.

Watching Sakic’s retirement press conference tomorrow will surely remind me of the Stanley Cup victories. But the captain’s words and face will also serve as a reminder that we all grow up. This past season’s team was not the ’95-’96 Colorado Avalanche. I’m also not 12 years old anymore. I applaud Sakic for being honest with himself and the franchise by not sticking around for too long. The franchise needs to start over. However, the Avalanche could not begin re-building in the presence of the man who has held them together for the last 20 years.

Goodbye and good luck, Super Joe. Thank you for the goals, the Cups, and the birth of a franchise. We will never forget your wrist shot or your poise.

In fact, I think it’s time I head over to the mall and pick up a Sakic jersey.

I leave you with one of my all-time favorite Joe Sakic moments. He had a great wrist shot, but he was also tough as nails…

Channing Frye's face would look great in a Nuggets' team photo, and his dogs would look great in Wash Park.

The Denver Nuggets are reportedly pursuing unrestricted free agent PF Channing Frye. This is not the first time the Nuggets have considered acquiring Frye. Former Nuggets General Manager Kiki Vandeweghe was quite fond of the power forward following his rookie season with the New York Knicks in ’05-‘06. Considering Vandeweghe’s questionable personnel track record, it remains unclear how much stake to place in his fondness of certain NBA players.

Frye however demonstrated a high basketball IQ during his ’05-’06 rookie campaign. He set excellent screens at the top of the key, cut to the basket well, shot an accurate mid-range jumper, and even displayed above average athleticism when finishing at the rim. Frye was rather lean and lacked strength, but he used his 6’11” height to his advantage when crashing the lane for rebounds, put backs, and the occasional throw down slam. Then Knicks coach Larry Brown, who is known for his disdain for young players, trusted Frye enough to play him 24 minutes per game. Frye responded by putting up promising numbers in 65 games (12.3 pts 5.7 rebs 2.1 off rebs and 47.7% FG).

Unfortunately, his rookie campaign came to an abrupt end when he sprained his knee in a late season game against the Toronto Raptors.

Frye regressed during the ’06-’07 season. He appeared in 72 games and averaged 26 minutes per contest, but he only managed 9.5 points and 1 offensive rebound per game. To make matters worse, his field goal percentage fell by 3% on 49 more field goal attempts. Overall, Frye became a much less efficient player during his sophomore season in the NBA.

I know, Isiah. You don't actually have a clue why you do so many of the things you do. I pity the FIU Golden Panthers basketball team. Also, FIU Athletitc Director Pete Garcia might as well pack his bags now. Pete, if Isiah doesn't get the board to fire you in the next year, he will just move into your office, shoot you a creepy smile, and take your job. Ask Larry Brown. Also, for some reason, I picture Isiah talking like Leon Phelps (aka the Ladies Man on SNL).

He seemed dejected the entire year. Yet, Frye’s slip in production was likely a result of the turmoil brewing within the Knicks organization. You’ll remember that Isiah Thomas staged his coup d’etat during the summer before the ’06-’07 season. Isiah ousted Larry Brown less than 12 months after signing the Hall of Fame coach to a long-term contract, installed himself behind the bench, and turned the Knicks into the laughingstock of the NBA.

Isiah kept Frye in the starting lineup for the majority of the ’06-’07 season solely because he believed Frye would develop into the next Dirk Nowitzki. This was a ludicrous aspiration considering Frye attempted a mere 9 shots from beyond the arc during his rookie season. Frye converted 3 of these attempts, but he only hoisted 9 three-point shots all year! Dirk shot 68 three-pointers during his first year in the NBA and became a perimeter threat the following season by attempting 306 threes. Frye shot 18 three-pointers during his second season in the league (only 288 less than Dirk), and is 20 of 70 or 28.6% on three-point field goals for his entire career.

To say the least, Isiah’s expectations for Frye were absurd. The Great Knickerbocker Dictator tried to make Frye something he is not, which briefly broke the 23-year-old’s confidence and set back his development.

Isiah gave up on Frye in February of ’07. He pulled Frye from the starting lineup and replaced him with a “defensive force” named Jerome James (one of the most overpaid players of all-time). He then traded Frye to Portland that summer as part of the infamous Zach Randolph trade. (Editor’s Note: Thomas is a moron of the first order on and off the basketball court. If you don’t believe me, check this out.)

Frye’s minutes decreased over the course of his next two seasons in Portland. He however became a more complete basketball player under Nate McMillan’s tutelage. Although he played far fewer minutes in Portland, Frye significantly decreased his turnovers while simultaneously increasing his rebounding efficiency. Examine the statistics and it is clear that Frye would be an excellent and affordable fourth big man on the Nuggets.

The Nuggets would expect Frye to play between 12 and 18 minutes per game depending on the health of the team’s frontcourt. It is therefore worth examining the numbers Frye posted during the ’07-’08 season when he averaged 17 minutes per game for Portland. Compare these figures to Frye’s stats from the previous season in New York and you’ll quickly realize that the 26-year-old quietly evolved into a remarkably efficient basketball player once he became a Blazer.

Frye played 26.3 minutes per game for Isiah during the ’06-’07 season, averaging 9.5 points, 5.5 rebounds, and 1.4 turnovers. At first glance, these look like solid numbers for a sophomore NBA power forward. Yet, converting “minute per game” statistics into “per 40-minute” statistics provides a more accurate means of rating a player’s efficiency. In ’06-’07, Frye’s stats per 40 minutes were 14.4 points, 8.36 rebounds, and 2.15 turnovers. These numbers look vastly less impressive than his 26.3 mpg stat line for that same season. While Frye remained an average scorer in ’06-‘07, he was an inefficient rebounder and careless with the basketball.

Fast forward to the ’07-’08 season…

In 17.2 minutes per game, Frye averaged 6.8 points, 4.6 rebounds, and .7 turnovers. These numbers appear quite pedestrian. It looks as though Frye took yet another step backwards after arriving in Portland. However, his per 40-minute stat line tells a different, more fulfilling story. Per 40 minutes, Frye scored 15.8 points, brought down 10.69 boards, and only turned the ball over 1.62 times. Plus, his field goal percentage rose from 43.3 % in ’06-’07 to 48.8% in ’07-‘08. The numbers do not lie. Frye’s game flourished at 9 less minutes per contest in Portland.

Frye isn't Dirk Nowitzki...and he never will be. But his size would definitely bolster the Nuggets' frontcourt.

Channing Frye achieved impressive numbers as a reserve power forward during the ’07-’08 season. He could play a similar role for the Nuggets this upcoming season. Frye fulfills exactly what the Nuggets need off the bench for approximately 15 minutes every game. At 6’11” and 245 pounds, Frye would add necessary size to the Nuggets roster. He is also extremely coordinated, which allows him to run the floor well in transition and increases his defensive potential. Frye offers the Nuggets offensive prowess in the post, a solid jump shot, above average rebounding abilities, and versatile athleticism. He is also good at setting high screens, which would give Chauncey, JR, and Carmelo better looks from the perimeter.

Frye’s greatest shortcomings are on defense. He does not average nearly enough blocks (.5 blks per game in his career), and he should be more active in passing lanes at the defensive end given his mobility. However, Frye is only 26 years old and possesses quite an upside as he enters his fifth NBA season. Furthermore, Frye’s offense would complement Birdman’s defensive skill set, and the Nuggets could potentially sign both players using the Mid-Level Exception. The Nuggets are attempting to backload Birdman’s new contract, meaning he will likely earn approximately $3 million next season. This leaves at least $2.5 million available to sign Frye, who earned $3.1 million last season in Portland.

If the Nuggets are unable to sign Frye using a portion of the MLE, they could acquire him in a sign and trade by offering Steven Hunter’s $3.6 million expiring contract to Portland in exchange for Frye at $3 million per season. The salaries match and both teams win in that trade.

It actually benefits the Nuggets to acquire Frye in a sign and trade because the team would unload Steven Hunter for a big man who actually plays. The Nuggets could then use the remainder of the MLE to offer Matt Barnes a backloaded contract, re-sign Dahntay Jones, or save the cap space to make room for Linas Kleiza’s $2.7 million Qualifying Offer. In the ideal scenario, the Nuggets trade for Frye, re-sign Jones with the remainder of the MLE, and also complete a sign and trade with Phoenix for Barnes by packaging Renaldo Balkman’s expiring contract and a 2011 draft pick. The Nuggets could then offer Kleiza the QE to keep him around for insurance purposes or to use as trade bait come February*. Assuming the Nuggets re-sign Anthony Carter at the veteran’s minimum, these moves give the Nuggets a strong and long 12-man roster for under $80 million.

I therefore retract my previous desire to see Indiana C Jeff Foster in a Denver uniform. There is no reason to pursue Foster and his richer contract with a hidden gem like Channing Frye left on the market.

Frye is huge! And he dresses way funkier than Jeff Foster.

Frye improved steadily under Nate McMillan’s direction in Portland. McMillan played for George Karl as a member of the Seattle Supersonics during the 1990s. In fact, it was Karl who coached and mentored McMillan into a smart, efficient NBA point guard. Karl and McMillan share a bond and are similar coaches. Each respects the game and demands perfection from his players. Both men emphasize the importance of defense, are occasionally tough on their players, and love to log long hours in the gym. Yet, Karl and McMillan also trust and respect their players. Players, in turn, respect them.

Thus, it only seems natural that Frye would quickly build a solid relationship with Karl, allowing his game to further expand in the Mile High City. If Frye even marginally improves defense, he could fit into the Nuggets’ long-term plans. Hopefully Warkentein takes swift action and acquires both Frye and Barnes at bargain prices.

*Note: There is a variation of this chain of events that could also work. The Suns might find Linas Kleiza a more appealing player than Balkman. Therefore, the Nuggets could sign Kleiza for the QE and then promptly use him instead of Balkman in a sign and trade for Matt Barnes. Balkman is a nice defensive insurance policy, and the Nuggets would no longer need Kleiza’s offense with Barnes coming off the bench. Trading Kleiza and keeping Balkman also saves the Nuggets about $600k. Just a thought.